Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

The war between the squirrels and the pigeons has raged for time immemorial. The Columbid Horde, the ruthless winged pigeons, recently made a bloody advance into the territory of the squirrels, forcing them into the eaves and alleys. In response, the squirrels have formed an alliance of desperation with their Sciuridae brethren.

The command staff has decided to send your team of highly trained commandos deep into enemy territory to apply novel warfighting tactics learned from the mostly harmless megafauna that periodically travel through the land.  You will have no backup, and no one is coming to rescue you. You are:

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

Thanks to Grant Howitt for developing the original Honey Heist framework, and to Tom Lehrer for releasing so many works of genius into the public domain. This bears a striking resemblance to the former, and almost nothing to the latter.